11-January 2019: Teenage Underwear Story
When I was a teenage boy (15 or 16 years old), I was eager to start exploring nontraditional underwear. I remember venturing off to the shopping mall for the first time to make my own purchases. It was so embarrassing and nerve wracking for me to buy this type of underwear in person though. Young guys these days don’t know how easy they have it with online purchasing options and the relative anonymity that goes with it! Plus I don’t think they get "the eye” like we did back in the day as clerks are less prudish in the modern era.
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At any rate, I was a relatively poor teen making $3.35 USD an hour at my fast food job. As a result, I couldn’t afford to splurge too much. Plus I had to buy my other clothing be it jeans, shirts, etc. But what I really wanted most was some decent bikini style underwear. I headed to Younker’s and started browsing the menswear section. I came across some Jockey style Elance bikini underwear that I had seen Jim Palmer sporting in the underwear ads of Sports Illustrated. They came in 3 packs in these plastic cylindrical tubes which I thought were pretty cool. They were not the usual standard packaging. I picked up one and piled it in with my other items trying to hide it (not very successfully of course). Here are some pictures of the packaging in men’s and women’s, but it is difficult to find examples online.
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| Men's Jockey Elance briefs |
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| Women's Jockey Elance briefs |
After sweating it out at the small kiosk with the cashier, I made my way home eager to try them on. It was challenging finding privacy in my house growing up as I had 8 siblings. But after securing a private moment in the bathroom, I was able to slip on a pair. They were indeed everything I imagined. I’m sure if anyone saw me in them, they would have laughed their ass off! Yet I felt great. I had to jerk off (and to an underwear ad, no less) because it was just such an intense moment for this skinny, teenage nerd. I recall for certain that I had this exact pair that model Jim Palmer has below.
When these underwear made it to the laundry, I had to seek them out as they never made their way back to my room. It seems my dear mother thought they were my older sister’s. Bless her, she thought they were girl’s panties. It became time for me to do my own laundry from that point on.
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These days my mom is dealing with Alzheimer’s dementia and has moved to an assisted living center within the past year. I visited her just prior to Christmas, and it was the two of us alone. We haven’t been alone in a long time. Unfortunately, her mind is only a former shell of what it used to be. So our conversations tend to be fairly superficial. There are moments that I wish I could go back in time and have that “real conversation” with my mother, but that time has long passed.
More so, what I hope is that I am the kind of father for my kids who can always be there for them. That they never feel they are unable to bring their concerns or problems to me. I want to be there for them always. Mind you, it’s not that my parents weren’t there for me. I just never came to them with my problems. I guess I FAILED them ultimately. I was always waiting for them or someone/anyone to ask me questions about my sexuality which never came forth. And that’s not anyone’s fault but my own. What I have learned is that silence does not do anyone good in the long run.
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I still have a few pairs of Jockey bikini briefs, but I don’t wear them hardly at all anymore. The ones I have aren't quite like I remember from my youth. Maybe you just can't go back!
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